My Refining Fire

 You will never know how I feel about anything, until you are walking in my shoes. 

The tears... the heartache... the loneliness.

Do you have any idea how much it hurts, when the one you love, doesn't love you enough?

Do you even understand how it feels to cry yourself to sleep every single night.... even though you are lying right next to him?

The need for his arms to hold you tight.

The fragrance of his heart to connect with yours.

The love in his eyes to make you tingle.


You are not me.

You are not my shadow.

You are not a fly on my wall.

You do not see the brokenness of unchecked tears streaming down my face.


Yet you laugh.

Yet you murmur.

Yet you make assumptions about my life.

You don't know me.

You don't know anything about me.

You do not choose to know me.


Oh how I wish that I might fly.

How I wish that I could wake up from this never ending dream.

How I wish that dreams could come true.

How I wish that yesterday could come back.

If only wishes could come true.


Maybe this was meant to be.

Maybe this chapter was already written and must be read.

Maybe my test will become my testimony.

Maybe there really is a light at the end of the tunnel 


I live in hope.

I live in faith.

I live in the midst of adversity and challenges that would be my refining fire.

I live in the knowledge of understanding, that better days will come.

So I press on.

So I overcome.

So I lift up


my eyes unto the hills from where my help comes from.

So I LIVE and I BREATHE.

And I RISE.


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